How Yohan changed my life...
I moved back to Korea from San Diego in seventh grade. Having experienced both countries, I preferred the American education. I felt bounded by Korea’s strict machinelike curriculum. So I asked my parents to send me to a boarding school in America, where I could learn to take care of myself and engage in activities alongside academics.
When I arrived at the school for my freshman year, the older Korean students took me under their wing. They brought me to dinners and gave me advice on how to survive boarding school. They gave me all the textbooks I needed for free and helped me adjust to the new environment.
They had a reputation at school for being “super rich” and not caring about classes. Everywhere they brought me, from Six Flags to Saks Fifth Avenue, was exciting. Once, they hired a limousine to go shopping in Boston. It was the first limousine ride of my life and I enjoyed every second. I felt insecure because I could not afford to live like they did. Over time, I felt more pressured to be like them, especially because the other boarding students were mostly friends with kids from their own home countries. I thought Koreans wouldn’t like me if I weren’t like them, and I worried I wouldn’t belong with them. So I tried to keep up with their lifestyle and stopped prioritizing studying. When they went to New York for the weekend, I joined despite having many assignments. As time passed, my grades dropped lower.
For summer break, my friends took a limousine to the airport and first class flights to Korea. I pulled two suitcases to the bus terminal and waited six hours for my transfer flight. On the plane home I was nervous, worried about how my parents would react to my grades. In a car heading to my house, my parents asked me about my grades. They were angry. Then I blamed my environment, where I was always pressured getting along with rich friends. For a few days after I came to Korea, I was at a loss about what I should do. I could not focus on anything and spent my days unconstructively. Upset about my attitude, my mom told me to join her in volunteering at a juvenile detention center.
On my first visit to the reformatory, my mom introduced Yohan to me. We were the same age. He was reluctant to talk, and instead we played soccer. But when we sat on the bench for a break, he started to tell me about his life. His young single mother left him at an orphanage when he was an infant. At the orphanage, he was severely beaten. He had worked as a manual laborer, a night club server, and a gas station cashier. He had been sent to the reformatory after being caught shoplifting. I kept visiting him, and we kept playing soccer and talking. One day, I was talking about my school choir, and his face slowly turned pale, “I want to become a singer, but it seems impossible to a person like me. But still, if I become a popular singer, I think my mom will find me.” He cried, “I envy your life.”
On my way back home, I could not forget what he said. Yohan envied my having a family and an education, and I was embarrassed to look back over my two years. Trying to fit in with the super rich group left me with nothing at the end. I had been ignoring my academic aspirations. I had been unappreciative to my parents and their efforts to support me. I was stressed because I prioritized what was least significant. I was unhappy because I did not recognize how much I had in my life. I lost my self-confidence, disregarded my values, and forgot why I went to the boarding school in the first place.
When I saw how much I neglected myself, I was afraid to talk to my parents about my mistakes. But after I admitted to my parents how much I regretted my choices over the past two years, they weren’t angry but rather understood me. They helped me changing a school to where I could regain focus. I decided to transfer to Oaks Christian School, in part because my family lived there. When I said goodbye to Yohan and left for my new school, I trusted myself. I believed I was strong enough to know myself and what is truly important in my life. My mind was resolute. It was my first step to transitioning from childhood to maturity.